Is it just me, or has "novelist" become one of the grossest words you can possibly hear in a day? It's the Las Vegas of words; conceptually not that bad, but practically, the absolute last thing I want to hear anyone talk about. I hate it, I really do. I don't want to hear about your novel, about how you're writing a novel, about your ideas for a future novel and never, never read from an early chapter in your latest novel...especially if you've published absolutely no novels to date. Guess what? Anybody with a word processor can be a "novelist," all it takes after that is the clueless chutzpah to talk about it in polite company.

Also, here is a list of things I don't want to hear about when you get back from Las Vegas: gambling (every story is exactly the same and ends in only one of two ways), the clubs (they're designed to be the coolest place you've ever been), the strip (same as the clubs), the word "Vegas," all the things you had comped, the heat, and finally, the shopping.

Anyway...you should come to see Joshua Beckman tonight.