A few days ago my father-in-law found a machete at work in amongst some returned pallets from South America. He called it a knife. A friend of his swears there's blood stains on it. I carried it around all day yesterday. I think I like myself with a machete. Sometime, in the future, I want somebody to be talking about me and go, "You know B.J., right? The guy with the machete?"

These are things I've machete sliced:

1. Large bottles of Mountain Dew (as seen in the video above)
   
2. Apples being tossed in my general direction
3. Empty cans
4. Full cans
5. A hedge my mother wanted trimmed
6. A sign my mother no longer wanted
   
7. A 1/2 inch tree limb that was looking at me funny
8. Every reason I had to not own a machete
   

A few interesting machete facts:

• Some tropical countries have a name for the blow of a machete; the Spanish machetazo is sometimes used in English.

• Danny Trejo plays a series of characters named Machete in Spy Kids, Grindhouse and finally into a planned feature film named for the character, Machete.

• After hardening, many blades are tempered to maximum toughness, often nearly spring tempered. This also makes the blade relatively easier to sharpen.